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 | I got to know that I am an Alpha-Thalassaemia carrier last year. My girlfriend is also a Thalassaemia Carrier but of type Beta-Thalassaemia. We were told by some Doctors that as we are different types of Thalassaemia carriers that if we have a child, the child will be normal.
However, some told us that there is a 25% chance that the child will have Thalassaemia, 50% will be a carrier and that 25% will be normal.
These two statements contradict each other. Could you please explain this to us. |
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| If you are an Alpha-Thalassaemia carrier and your girlfriend is a Beta-Thalassaemia carrier, then your children should not be affected by Thalassaemia but 50% of them could be carriers.
Answered by:
Dr Chew Weng Yew, Member of ProHighway Healthcare Panel of Medical Specialists
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| My daughter did "badly" in school this term. I could not sleep for several nights thinking about it. Her "badly" is only below my expectation that 91% average and she is in Std 1. I know I am over reacting but I just couldn't help it.
Am I suffering from any form of depression? I just can't talk to anyone as I already know the answers will be either my expectation is too high or I am crazy. What should I do? I have another 2 younger sons, 3 and 1 year old. Will I go crazy when all of them are |
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| From your email, I get the picture that you were unusually anxious about your daughter's performance in school. This is not because you are unaware of your unreasonably high expectation. You "just couldn't help" being anxious. What is the root cause of this anxiety and perfectionist attitude? I think a letter of advice or comment from me on what you should or should not do might not be helpful. There are deeper psychological/emotional issues to be dealt with. I think some sort of counselling sessions will be beneficial. If you wish to see a counsellor, please call us at 03-58823343 Monday through Friday, 9.30 am to 5.30 pm.,and we will try our best to refer you to a suitable one.
I hope to hear from you.
Answered by: Counselling Network Coordinator
Focus on the Family
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| My kids (ages 3 & 18 mths) stay with my maid during the day when I am at work. They are very afraid of people and will run away when they see a stranger (people they have never see before). How should I handle this, in order to make them comfortable with other people?
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| Most toddler fears are based on a natural and self-protective fear of things that are strange or unfamiliar. A pronounced fear of strangers, which is known in the child development field as "stranger suspicion" is very common during the toddler years (ages 1 to 3). Young children tend to be wary of new or unfamiliar things (including people) until those things have proven themselves harmless.
Fear of strangers may also have much to do with the way adults act with babies and young children. It must be disconcerting to have strangers, or someone you barely knew or recognized, coming right up to you and, without permission or hesitation, pat your head, pinch your cheeks, hug you or barrage you with silly questions.
In answer to your question, you may want to try the following tips to help your children cope more effectively with their fear of strangers:
1. Try intervening before a stranger makes a move towards your child. Your child will be less fearful if a stranger approaches him (I am using "her" to include both male and female) gradually. Without labelling your child as 'shy' or 'scared' (which could perpetuate his behaviour), explain to the stranger why the child would be more comfortable if people approached him slowly.
2. Give your child the physical support he needs while in the company of strangers. If he wants to be held, hold him - for as long as he needs and wants to be held. When he is ready to go it alone, he will let you know. In the meantime, offer your reassuring support and understanding unconditionally, and without demeaning comments ('You're acting like a baby') or teasing ('You silly boy').
3. Expose your child to a wide variety of familiar and unfamiliar people on a regular basis. Take him to the supermarket, playground, zoo, and social, religious and family gatherings. Be careful, however, not to push your child to interact with the people he will meet during these outings; always let him take the lead. Just being in the midst of strangers is an achievement enough for now.
4. Do not push your child to interact with a stranger out of concern of upsetting the stranger. Often parents worry more about the rejected stranger's feeling than those of their child. You can explain that your child's reaction should not be taken personally, that his behaviour is appropriate at his age. Your child will feel more secure - and more open to the advances of strangers - if you handle his fear with respect and understanding than if you press him to overcome it.
You mentioned that your children are left with the maid when you are at work. Please note that young children are very open to suggestions and the emotion of others often rubs off on them. While you may have good reasons to advise your maid to be careful of strangers, you may want to check to see if she had unwittingly passed on the same advice or her own fear to the children.
Answered by: Counselling Network Coordinator
Focus On The Family Malaysia
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